This evening...I have a very honest, and pretty painful topic that I'm going to share with you all. It has been on my heart this weekend and I think that it's important to talk about. It's about a battle that I have been warring inside my heart. It's the battle of feeling and believing that I am unlovable. For years... More than I care to admit, I have struggled with feeling like I am too much. Too talkative, to obnoxious, too fat, too imperfect... and everything else to be loved, especially beyond the bounds of friendship into something more.
As I spent time with God and others this weekend, and received the truth and love of those around me, God revealed to me that this lie has been wearing away sensitivity and softness and replacing it with mistrust, callousness, and loneliness. I struggle to allow people into my heart... Into my genuine thoughts... Into the deeper parts of me, and it makes relationships difficult at times. My relationship with God has struggled big time because of it. The breakthrough came while I was listening to one of our speakers talk about the intimacy and beauty of God's love as He wove us together uniquely in our mothers' wombs. He was there... And He knew that I was going to have more curves, more outspoken opinions, more acne... Yet He still said that I was VERY GOOD. I have been created differently yet uniquely lovely and Christ in me continues to expound upon that loveliness. As you are tempted to reflect upon your flaws and all of the things that YOU believe about yourself, turn to the Bible and read sections like Song of Solomon, and Psalm 139, and Zephaniah 3:17. You are danced over with such joy, and spoken over with such love. May you realize that today. Pray with me if you would: Father, I lay down all of this crud that I carry around on a daily basis. The beliefs that I am other than what you say I am. God help me to turn my gaze away from myself, and direct it towards you and your glorious love and direction. I surrender these lies, along with my life...Amen "The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
1 Comment
Danielle Glen
12/4/2017 05:45:41 am
Well said Abbey! I have also felt like I was 'too much'. Satan has a few tricks he uses quite often. But Jesus is so much more! And though we feel 'too much', we take Jesus at His Word and 'Count ourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus' (Romans 6:11)
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Where two or More...My dears, this blog is a safe and free space to talk about the things of life, love, and mystery. Your contribution is wonderful and valued. Archives
February 2021
Topics |